Betrayal and breakups
When the unthinkable happens
Are you facing:
- The discovery of infidelity by a relationship partner
- A betrayal or deep let-down by someone you trusted in your family, community, work or business
- The painful end of a significant relationship
Some relationship endings are so painful they leave you feeling lost, confused, and deeply hurt.
You may feel overwhelmed by the shock of betrayal or the grief of a breakup. At the same time, you may be facing difficult choices and changes. With the right support, it can feel less overwhelming to work through what you’re experiencing.
Emotional overwhelm
Emotional overwhelm can occur when you’re experiencing more stress than your nervous system can comfortably process. You may:
- Find it hard to think clearly and make decisions
- Struggle with everyday tasks
- Experience intense emotions such as sadness, anger or confusion
- Feel emotionally numb
Physical difficulties
When emotional overwhelm is present, your body can shift into the stress response. In this state, you might notice that you:
- Have trouble sleeping
- Experience tension in your neck and shoulders
- Lose your appetite, or feel hungrier than usual
- Have an unsettled tummy
- Feel fatigued or exhausted
Self-doubt and low self-worth
Betrayal or the end of a relationship can deeply affect how you see yourself.
You may:
- Question your value or worth
- Wonder whether you’re good enough to be loved or accepted again
- Doubt your judgement or choices
Withdrawal and isolation
When you’re in pain, it’s common to pull back from people and activities that would normally support you.
You may find that you:
- Withdraw from friends
- Feel reluctant to spend time with family
- Stop doing things you once enjoyed, or feel unmotivated to do much at all
Betrayal and breakups FAQs
What types of relationship challenges do you help with?
I support people recovering from emotionally difficult or harmful relationships, including those involving manipulation, control, or narcissistic behaviour. I also work with people healing from betrayal, boundary violations, or the emotional impact of relationship endings.
My focus is on helping you process what you’ve been through and rebuild a sense of self-worth, clarity, and trust in yourself.
How can Clinical EFT and HeartMath® help after a betrayal or breakup?
Clinical EFT and HeartMath® help calm the body’s stress response and reduce emotional reactivity. This can make it easier to gently process intense feelings such as shock, grief, anger, and self-blame.
Over time, these approaches can ease rumination, support healing from trauma-based attachment patterns, and help you rebuild self-trust and inner strength.
What if others don’t understand what I’ve experienced?
It can feel very isolating when your experience is minimised or misunderstood. Counselling offers a supportive, non-judgemental space where you can feel heard, validated, and supported as you rebuild confidence and self-worth.
Can counselling help even if the other person isn’t willing to change?
Yes. I work with individuals rather than couples. Focusing on your own emotions, boundaries, and nervous system responses can support meaningful change for you and often shifts how you relate to others as well.
Healing from relationship betrayal and breakups
I’m Heather Todd, a Holistic Counsellor based in Wellington. I offer support to people healing from relationship betrayal and breakups across New Zealand, Australia and beyond.
Through online counselling and therapy sessions, we create a safe and supportive space where you can:
- Process painful emotions in a gentle, respectful way
- Release emotional pain without reliving the trauma
- Rebuild self-worth and confidence after betrayal or loss
- Use practical tools to manage stress, anxiety, and overwhelm
- Restore trust in yourself, and over time, in others
Rebuild trust and embrace new beginnings
Using a range of evidence-based tools, I offer a personalised and compassionate approach that supports healing and meaningful change.
Clinical EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
A proven method that reduces stress and calms anxiety by helping the nervous system settle. It can be especially helpful for quieting racing thoughts and easing overthinking.
HeartMath® techniques
Simple, science-backed strategies that help regulate your nervous system and bring emotional balance. They support you to stay present and clear-headed, even when your mind feels busy or overwhelmed.
Energy psychology
An integrative approach that helps you understand and work through emotional experiences using mind-body awareness and gentle, evidence-informed techniques to support deep, lasting change.
You don’t have to heal alone
Recovering from betrayal or a painful breakup takes courage, and you don’t have to do it on your own. I offer a supportive space where you can work through what’s happened, reconnect with yourself, and move forward at a pace that feels right for you.
Online counselling and therapy sessions are available across New Zealand and Australia, with international sessions available by arrangement.
Book your free 15-minute consultation
Let’s talk about what’s been going on for you and whether working together feels like the right next step.
