Abuse and trauma
Healing from trauma is possible
Do you feel like you’re:
- Stuck in patterns of fear, anxiety, or self-doubt
- Disconnected from yourself or your body
- Constantly in survival mode
- Always feeling on guard
Whether it happened recently or many years ago, abuse, trauma, grief, or sudden loss can have a lasting impact. It can leave you feeling as though your sense of safety has been shaken or lost.
How trauma keeps you stuck
Trauma doesn’t just live in memory. It’s also held in the body and nervous system.
Trauma happens when something overwhelms your ability to cope. In response, your nervous system does what it’s designed to do. It shifts into protection mode to help you cope with what happened.
This can mean your system stays on high alert long after the danger has passed. Even years later, your body may still react as if the threat is ongoing.
Over time, this can affect how safe you feel in the world, how you relate to others, and how you see yourself. Many people describe feeling on edge, emotionally shut down, easily overwhelmed, or caught in cycles of overthinking, worry, and exhaustion.
Physical or sexual abuse
Physical abuse and sexual abuse are often deeply remembered by the body, even when the events are long in the past.
You may notice:
- Ongoing emotional distress
- Unexplained physical sensations or pain
- Feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
- Difficulty trusting others
- Feeling disconnected from people
- Heightened fear or feeling constantly on guard
Complex trauma
Complex trauma develops through repeated or long-term abuse, neglect, or harmful experiences, often beginning in childhood or within ongoing relationships.
Rather than a single event, complex trauma reflects the cumulative impact of serious, ongoing stress on the nervous system.
You may notice:
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- A persistent sense of emptiness or disconnection
- Feeling damaged, different, or unworthy
- Anger, mistrust, or withdrawal from others
Emotional and psychological abuse
Emotional and psychological abuse can be deeply damaging, particularly because it often happens over time and can be harder to recognise. This may include patterns of control, manipulation, criticism, humiliation, or emotional neglect. You may notice:
- Persistent self-doubt
- Anxiety or emotional overwhelm
- Feeling numb or disconnected
- Difficulty trusting your own thoughts or feelings
Grief and sudden loss
Grief and sudden loss can also be traumatic, especially when it happens unexpectedly, or when you feel like you’re left to cope on your own.
You may notice:
- Feeling shocked, numb or disoriented
- Waves of sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion
- Difficulty making decisions or managing daily tasks
- Fatigue or exhaustion
- Physical aches and pains
Trauma FAQs
What is trauma?
Trauma happens when something overwhelms your ability to cope. In response, your nervous system shifts into protection mode and can remain on high alert.
Even when an event is long in the past, the body can continue to respond as if the threat is still present. This can affect emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations, making it hard to feel at ease or safe in everyday life.
What’s the difference between trauma and PTSD?
Trauma refers to the impact of an overwhelming experience on the nervous system.
PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a clinical term used when certain symptoms, such as flashbacks, nightmares, or being constantly on alert, continue over time.
Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, but trauma can still be held in the body and nervous system.
Can trauma from years ago still affect me?
Yes. Trauma responses are held within the nervous system.
When an experience hasn’t been fully processed, the nervous system can continue to react as if the threat is still present. This is why trauma can affect how you feel, think, and respond long after the event has passed, even when you know consciously that you’re safe now.
Is it safe to work on trauma using these methods?
Yes. Trauma-sensitive approaches such as Clinical EFT are designed to support the gentle reprocessing of traumatic memories, while keeping the nervous system within a tolerable and manageable range.
You’re always in charge of what feels right to share, and we move only at a pace that feels safe for you.
What if I can’t remember everything that happened?
That’s okay. Healing doesn’t require full recall. We can work with what shows up now, emotions and sensations, in a supported way.
How long does trauma recovery take?
Everyone’s journey is different.
Some people notice changes quickly, while others take more time as their nervous system learns it is safe again.
Counselling and therapy for abuse and trauma
I’m Heather Todd, a Holistic Counsellor based in Wellington. I offer support for people across New Zealand, Australia and beyond, who want to heal from abuse, trauma, grief, and emotional wounds.
Through online counselling and therapy sessions, we create a compassionate, supportive space where you can process what you’ve been through.
Together, our work can support you to:
- Calm your nervous system
- Gently release stored emotional pain
- Strengthen emotional resilience
- Shift patterns and responses that no longer feel helpful
Evidence-based, trauma-sensitive support
The tools we use in sessions are evidence-based, gentle, and trauma-informed. They work with both the body and the nervous system to support meaningful change.
Clinical EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
A proven method that reduces stress and calms anxiety by helping the nervous system settle. It can be especially helpful for quieting racing thoughts and easing overthinking.
HeartMath® techniques
Simple, science-backed strategies that help regulate your nervous system and bring about emotional balance. They support you to stay present and clear-headed, even when your mind feels busy or overwhelmed.
Energy Psychology
An integrative approach that helps you understand and work through emotional experiences using mind-body awareness and gentle, evidence-informed techniques to support deep, lasting change.
This journey is easier when it’s shared
Healing from abuse or trauma takes courage, but you don’t have to do it alone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re working through the long-lasting effects of childhood trauma, relationship wounds, or the deep pain of losing someone important.
I’m here to offer gentle support using tools that honour where you are now and where you want to go. Online counselling and therapy sessions are available across New Zealand, Australia, and beyond. In-person HeartMath® sessions are also available in Lower Hutt.
Book your free 15-minute consultation
Let’s talk about what’s been going on for you and whether working together feels like the right next step.
